all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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