On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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