What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
