I wanna bring you to show and tell
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
