ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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