well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
