honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
