True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
