guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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