If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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