like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am available for nakedness
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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