You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
BRING THE BAGELS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
