She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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