Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize