How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
