i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize