you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.