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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.

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• (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he thanks me after handjobs.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you found the perfect man.

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• (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.

  (1-573): View more from Missouri

  Mardi gras at its finest.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I'm open to more types of dick now

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.

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