I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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