doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
