these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every concussion has its silver lining
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime