Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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