whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.