Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"