Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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