Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

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  (310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while? http://tfl.nu/my43
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (1483)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.

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  (609): Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS. http://tfl.nu/xjwy
  Replies (17) Good night (3175) Bad night (542)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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  (440): Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/5zyy
  Replies (23) Good night (3463) Bad night (624)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

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  (847): Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth http://tfl.nu/6ed0
  Replies (29) Good night (4416) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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  (734): I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come... http://tfl.nu/n638
  Replies (56) Good night (4056) Bad night (2243)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?

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  (617): how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night? http://tfl.nu/7t3i
  Replies (15) Good night (1087) Bad night (5330)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...

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  (303): Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water... http://tfl.nu/8ncn
  Replies (12) Good night (6732) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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  (786): You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager. http://tfl.nu/4g1t
  Replies (3) Good night (2829) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

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  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2472) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's paint friendship bongs

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  (989): Let's paint friendship bongs http://tfl.nu/nm34
  Replies (5) Good night (2247) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.

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  (229): I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant. http://tfl.nu/p9a2
  Replies (10) Good night (578) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.

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  (906): Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/y37n
  Replies (29) Good night (1913) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?

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  (513): I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/htrk
  Replies (12) Good night (1195) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

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  (609): i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina, http://tfl.nu/dlk2
  Replies (15) Good night (1048) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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  (330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (267)

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