so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."