Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
