I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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