I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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