Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
