Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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