I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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