god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Michael Bay diarrhea
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize