quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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