strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If I die, sorry about rent.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
