He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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