so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
