like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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