Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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