Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
