And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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