She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
