Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
