jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
