Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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