How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize