When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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