They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
