used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We had sex on a dog bed..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
