Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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