Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
