I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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