Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
