remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
