She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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