it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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