it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
