It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
