ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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