i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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