I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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