Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
