Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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