all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
