after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
