I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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