respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
did you just send me my own nude
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