i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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