I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
