your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
