No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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