Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if only i could text you this smell
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
